Friday, December 31, 2010

Private Sessin with Natalie Brown

I took a 2-hour private session with Natalie Brown of Delirium tribal. My Best friend Erin's teacher. She was totally worth the $50 an hour rate and the music survey I had to do to save for it.
started at 10am at dogtown dance, (references, pee pee dance, 2nd toe, flashlight in vagina to ceiling)
Focusing on Strength exercise with modifications for disabilities.
Started warm up with blackeyed peas, knew I was in love with Natalie and why Erin loved her so much!

start with toes pointed out, knees over toe (reference 2nd toe frequently)
knees bent, into squat, bring body down while still straight and core strong ass over heels. swope arms up over head, repeat, and increase speed

switch to one side rotate, into lung. Back leg straight with heel pointing to ceiling. Swope arms down up and around, repeat. eventually you will lift front foot off ground too.

second toe forward knees bent, plia, bend knees arms swope repeat
ballet 5th same moves
pigeon toed same moves repeat
lay in floor feel low low abs, do not engage gluts
leg shaking is normal gets out toxins
touch toes legs bent back to table top, back down to floor bending is fine

tribal vs. Suhalia
tribal low back motivated like bra line
suhalia - squeeze shoulder blades ... feel nate's tattoo


sit on floor , scrunch up abs
use wall to get the up hip down knee movement.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


wanted to share. i had no idea about this. and my team for the jingle bell run
came in first place for overall fund-raising

im honored

more on the 12/4 race to come with photos
RRRC Race Results - Richmond Road Runners

Thursday, September 16, 2010

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

As part of invisible Illness here are my 30

1. The illness I live with is: To many, JRA, MCTD, Felty's
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: approx 1985
3. But I had symptoms since: 1984
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: asking for help
5. Most people assume: I'm not sick because I look fine, or I am mean
6. The hardest part about mornings are: getting up
7. My favorite medical TV show is: Scrubs
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:
9. The hardest part about nights are: my mind won't stop thinking so I can sleep
10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)6
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: yoga, bellydance, massage therapy, reiki
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: invisible
13. Regarding working and career: I thought I would be further along than I am, and am slowly accepting I will need disability
14. People would be surprised to know: That I struggle emotionally and physically on a daily basis, because I hide it from them.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: been at it for 25 years this is not new to me
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: Have a beautiful daughter
17. The commercials about my illness: make me laugh,
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I was 8 I dont remember
19. It was really hard to have to give up: running and dancing
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: crafts
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: run a marathon
22. My illness has taught me: patience, humility, kindness, acceptance
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: why do you get to park in handicap
24. But I love it when people: help me without me having to ask, my inner circle knows
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Things will be fine and I am here to listen and help.
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: brushed my hair, bring my ice cream. Listen to me, and hold me when I freak out
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: There are so many wonderful friendships I have made. I need even more and need to have our voices heard.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:

Friday, September 10, 2010

Hope and changing plans

Things like this aren't easy for me to say. Since its been on my mind and even jogging hasn't helped me push past it, maybe writting it will give me release.

I had all these plans, that I thought were your plans too. We discussed them in great detail. Even altered them to fit your schedule. You let me down and it hurts.
If you changed your mind, thats fine, (I change my mind all the time) At the instant you changed your mind, you should of come to me. You let it go on and on. March, May. I held up my end which was harder than what you had to do. I cleaned up my act, my body, got meds out of my system. It was now time, you said NO. It cut, it burns, its betrayl. I would of been hurt either way, but I wouldnt of put the effort in; time and energy I can't get back.

But now I see this wasn't meant to be. And yes I need to get over it. Pick myself up, dust myself off. Move on. I've done it before, its not easy. I need to stop the "what ifs". I am still angry. instead of being where I thought we would be right now, my harsh reality is one of starting back on the meds, I worked so hard to clean out of my body (hated them anyway). I now realize I liked not taking them. This weekend I will start back on the MTX (was a big girl and called to get a new script today), I will wait to see how sick I get, I will see how much hair I lose this time around. I will do it with grace, snd maybe a little anger.

The next 30 days, I need to build up this drug in my system so I can take another drug I would rather not have to. I also thought that I wouldn't be trying to figure out how to pay for it. Which you also used an excuse to get out of a deal we made (fighting dirty isnt my style)

Thank god, I am smart. I am enrolled in an assistance program. I jumped through your damn hoops Insurance companies. What I have to pay still stinks but its not nearly as much. I will be pumping my vacation fund into my arm on Oct 8th and Oct 22 for 6 hours each time. Happy Birthday to me.

And with that, it leaves one more issue that needs to be handled this weekend. The words TAKE OVER & OWNERSHIP come to mind.

I will be fine, I always am. Just been unhappy lately. Jogging has been my release. And now its time to handle this

Saturday, July 31, 2010

More on Etsy

I do need to write and post photos from vacation. I have added some new designs to my etsy shop, please check it out and spread the word

things to remember

Wednesday night, we asked Lo what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said the most amazing thing! "I want to be Mommy" it was awesome.

she also has been into boys this week. She smacked a boy this week at daycare because he was ignoring her. And she told us (same boy) that she doesn't like him anymore because she thinks about him all day long.. DRAMA

Monday, July 12, 2010

Creative Outlet

Thanks to some encouraging friends I have decided to open an etsy shop. I have always enjoyed making things. I have lost track of what it feels like to create things due to my illness.

I found that motivation and was inspired by some hair accessories when I had visited my parents. I found things left over from bellydance costumes and am turning them into hair clips.

Check out Sacred Lotus Designs, not a lot there so check back often

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Summer Fun

I need to be better at documenting the funny things Miss L. Does.
We asked her if she was going to be good (after smacking a child with a book the day before)
her response was "I don't think so." perhaps I should find her honesty refreshing?

Annoucing loudly in public restrooms:

  • It stinks in here -another lady responds - it sure does
  • Mom don't talk to me when I am trying to poop
  • Mommy do you need to poop?

My sister's husband is an avid hunter, he has three deer head on the walls of their home (different rooms). L says "look mom reindeer" sure sweetie.

While testing out chairs at pier one, she let a woman know "I sure do love comfy chairs" , right after that she knocked over a display vase (thankfully it was wicker)

Can't wait to see what happens on our Road Trip to PA!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Owning my mess

Owning my mess

This is going to be interesting! A few months ago I entered a web contest: you submitted photos of your clutter and if you won it the prize was a consultation from A Sorted Affair (

Being brave, I snapped three photos of our home office from my Blackberry so as to not to tip off my husband as to what I was about to do. I sent over the photos of the mess, the books, the toys, the dusty exercise equipment (don't judge me!) - you name it, it was crammed in the office.

A few weeks later, I received an email telling me I WON!. At this point, however, I wasn't sure I was happy to win. How would I explain to my husband what I had done? It was only three photos - was our mess that so bad that I won? Apparently, yes. (If I can muster up the courage I might share the photos here. No promises.)

I causally mentioned to my husband that I had won this contest. He was less than thrilled, and I never brought it up again. Pleased husband or not, last week the wonderful ladies from A Sorted Affair were coming came to my house to take a look. I meet them at my house and let them in.

When they were done looking at the office and the kitchen (where the overflow items, bills, etc., needed to make their way back to the office), they cheerfully assured me that I was not their worst client (I think they tell that to everyone – can I say it again?) and said, "Well, let's see the rest." I panicked. Weren't they only here to see my office? The thoughts of hitting snooze so many times earlier that morning and, of pajamas's thrown on the floor in my haste to get ready were making me sick. Did they really want to see it ALL? They sure did: they wanted no secrets! They saw my guest room, the closets, under the sinks, you know all the places you hide things when you need to quickly straighten up for company.

I explained to the lovely ladies, who had by now seen more than I would show my best friend, that any and all of their suggestions for my mess must be arthritis- friendly: not heavy lifting, easily accessible. They promised to get back to me in a few weeks.

Once I get their suggestions, I will share them with you in hopes that you may also find them valuable and will not have end up with a mess like I have. When I don't feel good the mess and clutter must wait, but I guess it has been waiting for me for too long, and now its time it was tackled!. But don’t be disappointed if I may only share After photos!

My husband has no idea that they came over! He doesn't read my blog, but if by chance he does, hey honey! I love you so much and you know you love me!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Spoil me...

You can't take care of others when you yourself aren't cared for. If I don't get some quality "me" time every once in awhile, I get cranky. I need to spoil myself and not feel guilty about it. Each of us has our own quiet spot to escape from the hectic world.

I can find zen in the bottom of a cup of coconut chai tea, warrior pose or tree pose during a good yoga session. Some of my other favorite and inexpensive self-care tricks are a hot bath with some candles (I don't lock the door in-case I get so relaxed I need help getting out - a very pruney lesson learned!) - or sitting or walking outside with new music on my Ipod. Lately I find it in hula hooping with my daughter. The repetitive motion and circles is very relaxing, and it doesn't hurt if your companion is a giggly three year old. Finding money in the budget for the occasional massage therapy appointment works, but in a pinch a coffee session with the girls does wonders too.

Today I found peace in power washing, sounds crazy right? I thoroughly enjoyed watching the pressure of water remove dirt and grime, leaving behind fresh new wood on the deck. Peeling the layers back, getting to the root. It was a like a rebirth of me and our deck. A little water and some elbow grease and the deck looks new! It was like cleaning and purging the soul. However; after a few hours I no longer enjoyed power-washing and still have some left for tomorrow. I may need that hot bath and tea to relax.

lastly my favorite self-care tip is surrounding yourself with caring, loving & supportive friends/family. You never know when the pain will get so bad you need someone to brush your hair, and you can blame your bad hair day on them! Or you need someone to finish power washing your deck

Friday, May 28, 2010

Articles by me..

this serves for me to track things written by me or about me

2008? Richmond Time Dispatch

October 2009 - Style Weekly Top 40 Under 40
Fall 2009 - Arthritis Introspective Newlestter

November 2009 - Skirt! magazine

January 2010 - Health Care Professionals Live -
December 2010

Kindness Program

April 2010 - Chronic Babe Forum - Blog Carnival (hooping) & featured on

e2 Logo

Monday, May 24, 2010


I had some time to think, which for me is a dangerous past time. Ultimately I have not been listening, really listening. Is my family really happy right now? Do we have ties to this area? what would make our situation better?

I don't think I have been true to me, hiding away the real me to just get by. it has been nice to see old friends from back in the day when I didn't care what others thought. I miss that, maybe that's why I am unhappy? My daughter isn't in school yet, Husband doesn't like his job. Do we want more kids? Should we move back near our family? some thing has to change but what ?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

taking a trip

gotta love free wifi on the plane! I am headed to Atlanta to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary and will be seeing three friends I have not seen in ages! super excited

hope everyone is well

also I need to do one big post with link to articles I have done so I dont lose them

Sunday, May 16, 2010 Blog Carnival: Kindess in parenting

Parenting is a hard job no matter who you are. Throw in a chronic illness or three, it can be challenging. When I decided to get pregnant, I did my research. Talked to several women who had successful pregnancies, they shared stories about what to expect. After speaking with my team of doctors, we decided to try getting pregnant.

I survived nine months of pregnancy, more appointments and check-ups than the average woman. The end result was a beautiful daughter. Raising a three year old is something no one could prepare me for. When struggling to get ready in the morning, you have someone else to care for. I learned early to not purchase clothing with tiny buttons; zippers & snaps are so much easier. Learning to ask for help getting my daughter in and out of the car seat at daycare would teach me many lessons about myself. Relying on others in my time of need.

The biggest thing I try to teach my daughter is compassion for everyone. Compassion and asking others for help. I'm still struggle with asking for help, my stubborn pride gets in the way all the time. She has had to learn to be self reliant already, and I find myself constantly telling her "It's ok to ask someone to help you do things" as my husband smirks to himself, bet he's thinking "pot, kettle, black." Any of my friends reading this could leave comments with stories how I won't ask for help.

Using my experiences of living, surviving, and thriving with a chronic illness will provide the basis of her education. A small gesture such as holding the door open, to doing yard work for an ill friend. I hope to instill kindness in her, random acts of kindness (I took her on a project of our own of spreading love with post-it notes over Valentine's weekend!). I don't want her to grow up remembering she has a "sick" Mom, focus on the fun times, creating memories focused on values, kindness, family & friends.

I am a mother who is living, surviving and thriving with a chronic illness! She has taught me lessons to; have fun, don't take myself seriously, remember to smell the rose. Being the best mom that I can be, despite the obstacles I have to overcome.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Thank you & gratitude

"We rise by lifting others" - Robert Ingersoll, Scholar
"Unselfish acts are the real miracles out of which all the reported miracles grow" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday someone said the most amazing thing to me! " I hope my daughter is just like you, a fighter with a positive attitude" Her one year old might have cerebral palsy, what a moment when my world has been swirling around me & I can't make it stop. That grounded me for a second, and motivates me to focus on a new adventure.

I am listening, more than ever and letting the universe take over

ms. e