Owning my mess

Owning my mess

This is going to be interesting! A few months ago I entered a web contest: you submitted photos of your clutter and if you won it the prize was a consultation from A Sorted Affair (http://www.asortedaffair.com).

Being brave, I snapped three photos of our home office from my Blackberry so as to not to tip off my husband as to what I was about to do. I sent over the photos of the mess, the books, the toys, the dusty exercise equipment (don't judge me!) - you name it, it was crammed in the office.

A few weeks later, I received an email telling me I WON!. At this point, however, I wasn't sure I was happy to win. How would I explain to my husband what I had done? It was only three photos - was our mess that so bad that I won? Apparently, yes. (If I can muster up the courage I might share the photos here. No promises.)

I causally mentioned to my husband that I had won this contest. He was less than thrilled, and I never brought it up again. Pleased husband or not, last week the wonderful ladies from A Sorted Affair were coming came to my house to take a look. I meet them at my house and let them in.

When they were done looking at the office and the kitchen (where the overflow items, bills, etc., needed to make their way back to the office), they cheerfully assured me that I was not their worst client (I think they tell that to everyone – can I say it again?) and said, "Well, let's see the rest." I panicked. Weren't they only here to see my office? The thoughts of hitting snooze so many times earlier that morning and, of pajamas's thrown on the floor in my haste to get ready were making me sick. Did they really want to see it ALL? They sure did: they wanted no secrets! They saw my guest room, the closets, under the sinks, you know all the places you hide things when you need to quickly straighten up for company.

I explained to the lovely ladies, who had by now seen more than I would show my best friend, that any and all of their suggestions for my mess must be arthritis- friendly: not heavy lifting, easily accessible. They promised to get back to me in a few weeks.

Once I get their suggestions, I will share them with you in hopes that you may also find them valuable and will not have end up with a mess like I have. When I don't feel good the mess and clutter must wait, but I guess it has been waiting for me for too long, and now it’s time it was tackled!. But don’t be disappointed if I may only share After photos!

My husband has no idea that they came over! He doesn't read my blog, but if by chance he does, hey honey! I love you so much and you know you love me!

Spoil me...

You can't take care of others when you yourself aren't cared for. If I don't get some quality "me" time every once in awhile, I get cranky. I need to spoil myself and not feel guilty about it. Each of us has our own quiet spot to escape from the hectic world.

I can find zen in the bottom of a cup of coconut chai tea, warrior pose or tree pose during a good yoga session. Some of my other favorite and inexpensive self-care tricks are a hot bath with some candles (I don't lock the door in-case I get so relaxed I need help getting out - a very pruney lesson learned!) - or sitting or walking outside with new music on my Ipod. Lately I find it in hula hooping with my daughter. The repetitive motion and circles is very relaxing, and it doesn't hurt if your companion is a giggly three year old. Finding money in the budget for the occasional massage therapy appointment works, but in a pinch a coffee session with the girls does wonders too.

Today I found peace in power washing, sounds crazy right? I thoroughly enjoyed watching the pressure of water remove dirt and grime, leaving behind fresh new wood on the deck. Peeling the layers back, getting to the root. It was a like a rebirth of me and our deck. A little water and some elbow grease and the deck looks new! It was like cleaning and purging the soul. However; after a few hours I no longer enjoyed power-washing and still have some left for tomorrow. I may need that hot bath and tea to relax.


lastly my favorite self-care tip is surrounding yourself with caring, loving & supportive friends/family. You never know when the pain will get so bad you need someone to brush your hair, and you can blame your bad hair day on them! Or you need someone to finish power washing your deck

Articles by me..

this serves for me to track things written by me or about me

2008? Richmond Time Dispatch
http://www.stacyhawkinsadams.com/site2008/writers-medley/life-notes/chronically-ill.html

October 2009 - Style Weekly Top 40 Under 40
http://www.styleweekly.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?sid=9B6FFC446FF7486981EA3C0C3CCE4943&nm=Articles%2FArchives&type=Publishing&mod=Publications%3A%3AArticle&mid=8F3A7027421841978F18BE895F87F791&tier=4&id=54D5FBCC59EF4DEA96C57ED6F1F5EE62
Fall 2009 - Arthritis Introspective Newlestter
http://arthritisintrospective.org/2009fall.pdf

November 2009 - Skirt! magazine
http://twitpic.com/pmcfl

January 2010 - Health Care Professionals Live - http://tinyurl.com/ydyvz3n
December 2010
http://richmondmom.com/2010/12/08/erica-stotler-december-2010/

Kindness Program
http://arthritisintrospective.org/kindness.htm

April 2010 - Chronic Babe Forum - Blog Carnival (hooping) & featured on hooping.org
http://www.chronicbabe.com/articles/832/

http://jewelrybyheart2heart.com/images/h2hpr20091009.pdf


e2 Logo
http://twitpic.com/vls38

change?

I had some time to think, which for me is a dangerous past time. Ultimately I have not been listening, really listening. Is my family really happy right now? Do we have ties to this area? what would make our situation better?

I don't think I have been true to me, hiding away the real me to just get by. it has been nice to see old friends from back in the day when I didn't care what others thought. I miss that, maybe that's why I am unhappy? My daughter isn't in school yet, Husband doesn't like his job. Do we want more kids? Should we move back near our family? some thing has to change but what ?

taking a trip

gotta love free wifi on the plane! I am headed to Atlanta to celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary and will be seeing three friends I have not seen in ages! super excited

hope everyone is well
e

also I need to do one big post with link to articles I have done so I dont lose them

ChronicBabe.com Blog Carnival: Kindess in parenting

Parenting is a hard job no matter who you are. Throw in a chronic illness or three, it can be challenging. When I decided to get pregnant, I did my research. Talked to several women who had successful pregnancies, they shared stories about what to expect. After speaking with my team of doctors, we decided to try getting pregnant.

I survived nine months of pregnancy, more appointments and check-ups than the average woman. The end result was a beautiful daughter. Raising a three year old is something no one could prepare me for. When struggling to get ready in the morning, you have someone else to care for. I learned early to not purchase clothing with tiny buttons; zippers & snaps are so much easier. Learning to ask for help getting my daughter in and out of the car seat at daycare would teach me many lessons about myself. Relying on others in my time of need.

The biggest thing I try to teach my daughter is compassion for everyone. Compassion and asking others for help. I'm still struggle with asking for help, my stubborn pride gets in the way all the time. She has had to learn to be self reliant already, and I find myself constantly telling her "It's ok to ask someone to help you do things" as my husband smirks to himself, bet he's thinking "pot, kettle, black." Any of my friends reading this could leave comments with stories how I won't ask for help.

Using my experiences of living, surviving, and thriving with a chronic illness will provide the basis of her education. A small gesture such as holding the door open, to doing yard work for an ill friend. I hope to instill kindness in her, random acts of kindness (I took her on a project of our own of spreading love with post-it notes over Valentine's weekend!). I don't want her to grow up remembering she has a "sick" Mom, focus on the fun times, creating memories focused on values, kindness, family & friends.

I am a mother who is living, surviving and thriving with a chronic illness! She has taught me lessons to; have fun, don't take myself seriously, remember to smell the rose. Being the best mom that I can be, despite the obstacles I have to overcome.

Thank you & gratitude

"We rise by lifting others" - Robert Ingersoll, Scholar
"Unselfish acts are the real miracles out of which all the reported miracles grow" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday someone said the most amazing thing to me! " I hope my daughter is just like you, a fighter with a positive attitude" Her one year old might have cerebral palsy, what a moment when my world has been swirling around me & I can't make it stop. That grounded me for a second, and motivates me to focus on a new adventure.

I am listening, more than ever and letting the universe take over

ms. e